HOW TO GET RID OF AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Anyone in the world, big or small, fat or thin, black or white, can feel somewhat inferior to everyone else at times during their lives. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, pretty enough or smart enough; yet these comments are in no way based on facts. This article presents simple steps through which you or anyone can overcome any inferiority complex you may face.

Steps

1.    Bear in mind that every human being in this world is different; no one face or body is the same. Your 'inferiority' as you may refer to it, can also be seen as a unique or individual quality. What makes you feel these things are 'inferior' to everyone else? If there is no norm amongst human beings, how can there possibly be any form of inferiority?

2.    Ignore what others may perceive of your 'inferiority'. 99.9% of people you walk past in the streets and towns pay no attention to you for any reason.

3.    If you have a complex about a specific body part, think hard about what makes them 'inferior' to everyone else's. Write this on paper if it helps. Seriously think about the logic of this; you're not going to seriously get stopped in the street for having what you think of as 'inferior' hands or feet.

4.    Confront your biggest fears. Do you think people will stare at you or make comments? These are all valid worries but do bear in mind - everyone is different. Any comments you receive are invalid and must be ignored at all costs. It's absolutely certain there is something they think is wrong with them, too.

5.    If you find your inferiority difficult to deal with, enlist the help of a friend. Good friends will help you achieve your goals, whatever they may be. Good friends will tell you the truth, and you can work together on ways to make you feel better about you self. If you find it difficult to talk with friends, ask them if they feel inferior sometimes; you may be surprised how worried people get.

6.    Examine other people (not through obvious staring). How do they react to their own bodies? This could help you in your situation.

FEELING INFERIOR AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX

WHAT IS INFERIORITY?

He was a successful and intelligent person who has got lots of loving friends but something inside him keeps telling him that he is not as worthy as others.

Whenever he meets new people the inner voice whispers in his ears: “Hey, you know you are different, you know you lack something; even if you appear successful, you are still not like them”.

He thinks that every single laugh around him is considered a scorn and every whispering couple are talking about him. He doesn’t feel worthy or in other words he’s feeling inferior.

 

 

 

INFERIORITY VS INFERIORITY COMPLEX

The man was suffering from feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. When such feelings take over the person's life and prevent him from functioning normally then it can be called an inferiority complex.

That man suffered from inferiority complex because during his childhood he was physically weaker than the other kids at his age.

Usually any kid who suffers from a certain physical defect will not develop inferiority complex unless someone makes him believe that he is different.

This is exactly what happened with that kid, his friends used to beat him, bully him and make fun of him and this made him feel different.

Years later he became a very social person, academically successful and a great basketball player Yet the feelings of inferiority still lived inside him.

HOW TO OVERCOME INFERIORITY COMPLEX

It feels embarrassing some times that friends go out to have a nice time and one of them feels he/she doesn’t match up with the rest. Obvious shyness or discomfort that is noticeable by observers is already bad enough. Everybody is unique and should understand that. Some people are always calm while some others may always be in high spirits; excitement. Either way no one should feel inferior. There are those that enjoy watching others play and those that enjoy doing the playing.

Once I came across a young chap that played the keyboard quite well but he couldn’t muster the courage to play in public whenever there was none of the regular players. He always felt he was being evaluated in everything and by everyone. He also concluded that their evaluations of him were poor. How could he get into the mind of everyone and what on earth could guarantee his accuracy? I, for one, admired a lot about him and so did almost every other person but I still wonder why he didn’t always see things that way.
Many chances to express oneself or to enjoy certain places, things and experiences are missed due to such feelings of inferiority. Of course there are various degrees and some extremes are completely irrational but like every other obstacle, there is always a way around it.

Here are a few tips that would help:

1) Convince yourself; tell yourself who you are and believe it. Everybody should understand how best to communicate with themselves in thoughts. Whether visually, kinaesthetically or auditory. I don’t intend to start digressing into details of inner communication but to point out that it is possible and necessary to relate with yourself positively. Build up confidence in yourself however best you can. To aid the psychological boost, you could also dress well, eat well, rest well and exercise well to look convincing even to yourself. Take a good look at yourself, have a good feel of yourself and say to yourself: “I’m good!

2) Realize that people are too occupied to watch every move you make. Except you have really caught their attention. Majority of the people you come across have their own issues to deal with and are busy figuring out how to deal with them. So to assume that the rest of the world are jeering at you while you are walking with your face down may not be totally correct. The only reason such attention could be on you is that you are either a popular star that everybody can recognize or you are already very known with making obvious blunders and they are expecting another from you. If you are still young and your friends laugh at you, just wave it off and tell yourself “it doesn’t matter” because it really doesn’t. If you are quite mature and still get such expressions from your friends then act like the kid and move on. Assure yourself further that you are good and worth much more than you always assumed.

3) Impressions change so any blunders can be replaced. No matter how terrible your flaws have been and how much you have erred, understand that human beings make conclusions on face value. When you consistently put up a good attitude, the bad ones will be forgotten. Forget about previous first impressions if you didn’t handle them well and work hard on future ones.

4) Be more result oriented than impression oriented. “it’s better to be relevant than to be liked”
Many people fail to deliver appropriate results because people will say something or think something. That’s not the best approach to life. Always do what you have to do. Do the very things that will give you fulfilment and what you consider worth doing. Make it a practice to face anybody as well as any number of people. The more you come out of your shell, the more accomplishment you’ll make and your accomplishment builds your confidence!

5)  Always strike a balance between reality and fantasy. You are real and live in a real world. Use fantasies to your advantage and not to your disadvantage. Instead of imagining that the world sees you as a rat, choose to imagine that they see you as an elephant or even that you were invisible but be sure to assure yourself that you are the best shot for the task.

There is no hard and fast rule really. Different people have overcome with different approaches and I would like you to share your story. Get determined to overcome too and you will. Make me happy by taking the bull by the horn and making the change permanent. Reach me by all means because I really want your own discoveries to help other.

OVERCOMING INFERIORITY COMPLEX – ACHIEVEMENTS AND INFERIORITY

Any Attempt you take to achieve success or to become superior will certainly be of a great benefit to your life ,however, all of these achievements will act as a crust that covers the inferiority complex you suffer from instead of helping you get over it.

Overcoming inferiority complex can never happen by collecting money, authority, power or social approval simply because any attempt that you take to gain self-worth based on materialistic achievements will result in the loss of this self worth as soon as you lose these achievements.

The same thing exactly goes for affirmations that some people use to help them get rid of inferiority complex. The problem with affirmations is that they tend to help the person create a lie and live it without treating the underlying cause for his inferiority and that's why his feelings of inferiority will never disappear.

Ignoring your inferiority feelings, keeping yourself busy or trying to act as if they are not there will definitely result in depression. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how acting like you don't notice your problems can result in depression.

Depression can be nothing more than a feeling the person gets when he ignores issues that are important to him instead of trying to deal with them.

DEALING WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEX

First of all you must determine the root cause for your inferiority. This root cause may be as simple as a bad childhood experience such as rejection or being called names like dumb or stupid.

Determining the root cause for your inferiority is an essential step that can help you get over it quickly. Try to recall your childhood and remember the bad experiences you have been through. In many cases these bad experiences might be buried in the unconscious mind because of the pain associated with bringing them to the surface.

After determining the root cause of your inferiority complex you can use the following methods to overcome it:

• Change your thoughts by changing your negative self talk: Negative self-talk are the phrases or words you use while talking to yourself. Whenever you find that you are using phrases like: "I know she won’t accept me because I am ugly" or "I am the worst dressed person in this party" just stop and fix your self-talk. CBT is a very effective method that can help you fix your negative self-talk and get over your inferiority complex.
• You don't carry the blame for the ignorance of others: Always remind yourself that you can't be worthless just because someone who was uninformed called you stupid when you were a child. Do you believe that you’re of no value just because you met a sick teacher who shouted at you or made you feel worthless?? You can't determine your worth based on previous experiences that you can't be blamed for. You were a child who knew nothing about the world and you just accepted the input you heard from others. If others called you stupid because of their own inferiority then this doesn't mean that you must believe them. Keep on repeating those thoughts to yourself whenever you feel inferior until they become an unconscious thinking pattern that automatically fires whenever you feel inferior. You also can use CBT, which is a method that can help you control your emotions by controlling your thoughts, to create thinking patterns that can help you overcome your feelings of inferioirty
• Fix your mental self image: In some cases when a person feels inferior his self image becomes affected too. Yourself image is the image you have for yourself in your mind. Sometimes this image gets permanently modified as a result of the feelings of inferiority a person experienced. Fixing your mental self-image is one of the most powerful actions you can do to combat the inferiority complex. When the inferiority complex is based on a false belief (such as thinking that you are stupid/ugly) then fixing the mental self image will certainly end the inferiority complex. Once you convince yourself that you were fooled and that you were carrying a false belief you will be able to get rid of your inferiority complex.
• Remove the labels that you have acquired : Removing labels is another effective thing you can do to get rid of an inferiority complex. Labels are words that describe certain bad traits such fool, idiot, stupid or whatever .Getting rid of those labels can give you a strong push forward towards overcoming those feelings of inferiority.
• Install new beliefs using hypnosis: Using hypnosis and suggestions to install new beliefs about yourself is a very powerful technique for combating inferiority complex. However, it might require a lot of effort for you to do it alone and you might need someone knowledgeable of hypnosis to help you.
• Build your self confidence: Increasing your self-esteem or self-confidence will help a lot. Self confidence and inferiority are opposites. If you managed to acquire one of them the other will leave you. Building self confidence will certainly help you feel worthy and thus overcome your inferiority.

Dealing With Your Inferiority Complex

Have you ever felt like you just can’t measure up; like your mind is telling you “just stay where you are, you can’t do it anyway.” Do you know that feeling when you have one great idea and then have ten counter arguments that talk you out of it? Inferiority complex is bigger than we think. Most individuals and associations would describe it as ‘low self-esteem or a feeling of intense insecurity, inferiority or the thought of not measuring up’ but not just that, inferiority complex is a limitation.

Alfred Adler, who founded the school of individual psychology, distinguishes between primary and secondary inferiority complex. The former commonly begins in childhood when he or she experiences weakness, helplessness and dependency and may be worsened by comparison to loved ones, adults or siblings. The secondary inferiority feeling is in relation to the adults’ inability to reach a subconscious, fictional final goal of subjective security and success. The absence of achievement could dig up the initial (primary) inferiority feeling and thus make it a reoccurring one. It has been a norm to relate the feeling of inferiority to interpersonal relations with people, but this is not always the case. The feeling could come as a result of not completing a task, not getting a job, not being married, losing a partner… the list is endless.

The reality is, the act of feeling inferior exists in the mind of the individual. For example; I know a someone who always felt this way but never disclosed it to anyone. We would be at a bar or a lounge and she’d be life of the party, all before more guests arrived. As soon as more people whom she felt were better dressed or looked prettier or richer arrived,  she would go quiet and sit in a corner. Initially I assumed she just wanted to be calm and relaxed, but then I noticed how she would stare down each individual she considered to be better than her; which was practically everybody, as they approached her or passed by. When she told me what she had been feeling, I said to her “You know when you see a snake and you assume it’s poisonous and wants to bite your heel? Well it’s just as afraid of you as you are of it“

Every human being has the inferiority complex in one way or the other; people just handle theirs in different ways. For some individuals, it’s as noticeable as a multicoloured jacket that you can see from 10 feet away. For others, you need a closer look.

There is a hunger for perfection in every human being, either physically, financially or otherwise. We know it’s unattainable in our hearts, but something  gives us hope that it’s possible to get. Therefore, once you see someone (who in your mind) is closer to perfection than you are, you start to feel inferior for your lack.

In my opinion, the constant hunger for perfection makes the feeling of inferiority stronger and a constant in our lives. However, there’s no perfection in humanity. Perfection is not in our design or nature. The phrase: “I am perfect the way I am” is to show that you are already in your own perfect form.

A different type of perfection that is applicable to only you (the individual) and this is where contentment comes in. Satisfaction for who you are not only brings out the best in you, but attracts more of what you want to you.

Remaining in a state of inferiority comes with envy for the possessions of others and stagnancy in your life; because you are so focused on what you do not have and what others do, you may lose sight of what you do have and miss out on how to get to a place of having all that you desire.

Positivity attracts positivity so when you are happy with yourself, you start to attract happy things and situations. You may not have achieved your desired goals in life but it is important to remember you are trying to achieve what YOU want, and not what someone else has.